Last Day of the Year!

Today is the last day of 2007, it has been an eventful and somehow painful year for me, some small changes and some more significant. There are so many other things that I learnt and discovered along the year, little things that have transformed the ways I think about life.

1. The major change of this year has seen me becoming a single divorced mum. Although it was a painful decision, but I think it is a correct one. Life for the 3 of us has been happy since.

2. Jie turns 21, and legally an adult now. She has put in effort towards a slimmer her, and the results have been obvious. Keep it up, Jie.

3. Mei went to La-Salle and doing her favourite Arts. I know school is tough, and you are struggling through, but just think of a brighter future, and you know it is worth it.

4. Work has taken up most of my time, and hoping to have more returns in monetary and job satisfaction (I hope so!)

5. I started this blog to write my little thoughts and memories. It’s just a little space for myself.

I'm looking forward to discovering what delights 2008 holds. The major wish will be able to move into a home of our own. And my goal for the new year, is to be a fitter me, minus exercise, is it possible?

Happy New Year!

And for someone who is celebrating your birthday, Happy Birthday To You!

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,
The gladness of Christmas give you hope,
The warmth of Christmas find you love.

It's not the value of gifts that matters, but it's the thought that counts. It's not the food we had that matters, but it's the time spent together that counts. On this special day, I want to let you know - Merry Christmas to My Two Dear Princesses, Mommy Loves You...Always!!!

Words of advice from someone, put it into practice, and maybe work and life will not be so stressful...

The mind is like a hard disk, it has its limits. In order not to overload one’s mind you must know what to keep and what to let go. Trivial matters / conflicts should not be held on to as it will take up valuable space in our minds, our hearts. Space too valuable to be wasted on minor issues / conflicts. There will definitely be better things to be stored in our hearts and minds. Learning how to let go and what to let go will make our minds free of negative feelings / thoughts, this in turn will make room for more beautiful memories. A little space saved here and a little there translates to a lot because at the end of the day it adds up. Wilt the dispelling of negative energy and one will feel lighter, free to absorb any positive vibes that comes our way.

This practice will help ensure that you will never be overloaded and you are always ready and have enough free space for any better feelings / thoughts that come along. Do not be caught in a situation where something good comes along but your heart / mind does not have the space to embrace it.

Work Stress....

Today is a very stressful day at work… Nothing seems right, everything is not as planned…

Coping with the increased workload due to the forth-coming meetings and production deadlines, and with some unreasonable colleagues really pissed me off (sorry for the not-so-proper language). All the problems are jamming up in my mind, and building up the stress within me. My migraine has started to attack me again…

I seldom complain about work, as it is where my money comes from… Money for the girls, money for our future, money for everything in life. Money is important to me now as a single parent. But recently I really felt worn-out… Maybe age is catching up with me, I am not as energetic as before, and I get irritated easily…

Maybe I should one day escape from my busy work, have a carefree couple of days…with an empty mind... alone…

Rainy days are lonely days. The last week has been a lonely and quiet week for me. Luckily it has been a busy week for me, so I spent most of my time in office, trying to clear my work. It’s the nights that are more difficult to get through, no one to talk to.

But I realized one thing, I can become a very good TV addict. Once home, I will just laze on the bed, and will be switching from channel to channel, looking for shows that will catch my interest. But of course, I have my dear Da-jie, who came over to keep me company. And when you have Someone to share your loneliness, your troubles and your joys, you will feel so loved..

I thought of doing some Xmas shopping over the weekend, but end up buying nothing, just did some window shopping and nuaing the weekend away.. I hate the last minute rush...

The gals will be coming back tomorrow night… with their tons of shopping… Yipee... I really missed them so much, but I know they had a wonderful time...

Love Is..??

Love is something that cannot be taken lightly. Do not throw that word around and use it for malicious purposes. That is unfortunate and it is not fair to those who place a tangible value on the word, "Love". It is not only something you can express verbally, but you express love through the things that you do and think. It seems like some people mistake their need or desire for a person as love. Make certain that it is genuine and it is not coming from a place of selfishness or lust. If one day I think or feel like I am in love with someone, or could have fall in love with someone, I make sure that the feeling is coming from a genuine place within me. I will only proceed with love only if it is true, genuine and real, and when the feelings is right.

谁说女人心难猜
欠个人来爱
花开当折直需摘
青春最可爱
自己卖花自己戴
爱恨多自在
只为人生不重来
何不放开怀

Alone Tonight...

My sweet dear gals left early this morning for their much deserved holidays in China/Hongkong. They have been good gals, studying hard, working hard, so now is time for them to play hard, and shop hard... haha...

I do not want it to be cos of my work commitments, they are deprived from going for their little break to enjoy themselves, and I know they have been looking forward to this short holiday, although they have been there like 5 months ago only...

The only bad thing about this is I will gonna be alone for the next whole week, will be sleeping alone at night. Luckily today I woke up early, was very busy at work, so tonight I will be able to fall sleep easier, but I do not know how I am going to kill the loneliness feelings tomorrow night, the night after, and after... Oh, can't wait for next Tuesday, when my babies are back...

It's only the first night.. and I am missing them terribly already...

Taking Chances...?

Last Friday, I had dinner with my sisters, and we were talking about divorces and relationships. Recently, I heard this new song “Taking Chances” by Celine Dion, and it touched my heart deeply. Perhaps I should try to take the plunge again, take a leap at faith…? Do I have the courage to start all over, start to learn how to understand another person again? Am I ready to love again? Perhaps Someone will know?

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world.

Jingle Bell Rock!!!

December is finally here, and you can find X’mas spirit everywhere, X’mas decorations, and driving down Orchard Road last Friday makes you feel like humming all the X’mas songs that came to my mind. I always like the wonderful feelings the festive season brings, time to have a little gathering, and also time to buy some gifts for my love ones…

Christmas will also brings back good memories of all the fun times we had… like our little White X’mas in Japan… But the song Jingle Bells Rocks will always be my favourite X’mas song, as Jie used to have ballet performances, and they will always dance to this song…

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring
Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square
In the frosty air.

What a bright time, it’s the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and a-mingle in the jingling feet
That’s the jingle bell rock.

That’s the jingle bell,
That’s the jingle bell,
That’s the jingle bell rock.

Live for Today...

The events of today will be the memories of tomorrow, may they be warm, pleasant and enjoyable. There are also some memories from yesterday, and the past, that still bring a smile or warm feelings to my heart, but I still believe that today and tomorrow are the most important parts of our lives, and even tomorrow is not guaranteed. So live today; live this moment, and hope tomorrow will be full of happiness and rainbows…

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

Gals, just want you to know that Mommy loves you both very much…everyday, every moment!!!

Monday Again!

It’s Monday again, the weekends are over, and back to work… Sigh! Mondays can be very blue-ish, especially after a lovely weekend, where we managed to spend some quality time with our families and friends. Weekends have become very special and precious to me nowadays.

I have learned to appreciate every moment of life I have currently. Thinking about the past or day-dreaming about the future will not take us anywhere. Appreciate your current conditions and life will make us feel much better and realize the need to move forward to achieve our goals. Even if it is not what we want, remember that dawn is not far away, and no matter you like it or dread it, there is always a tomorrow. Learn to live the present moment because you will live this moment only once.

To My Gals!!!

My beautiful daughters, I was blessed with two of you...
You will never know how proud I am of all the things you do.

You came into my world, so tiny and so small...
The precious gifts God had given to me.

Then you placed your little hand in mine...
My heart was melted and yours until the end of time.

I have watched you both through out the years, laugh, cry and grow...
And it is difficult to know, that someday I will have to let you go.

I just can't imagine, a day of my life without you...
Because you're a part of me and my love for you is true.

So just remember, no matter how old you are or where you may be...
There's someone who needs you and loves you and that someone is me!

Love is not about giving or receiving gifts but about sharing each other’s feelings and letting each other know how much you really care. You no need to be romantic, creative, and unique. The best way to show someone you really care is by words and to make them feel special. You need to say something coming from the heart.

There are great moments that you shared with a person. Take that as an inspiration to write into a poem. Try to think of words that can describe your feelings towards that person, and the happiness you feel when you are around and being with each other.

These are feelings you need to learn to express them, just speak your heart out. You will feel the flutter of butterflies in your stomach. Don’t forget to say “I love you”, but only if you really mean it.

Lust Caution!

It's being quite a while since I last watched a movie, so last weekend decided to catch up the much talked-about movie by one of favourite actor, Tony Leung, the full version of Lust, Caution. I was quite enchanted by Tang Wei's beauty too. With the fine performances and exquisite detail, and the complexed emotions involved, sitting for nearly 2 hours and 40 mins was quite worth it. One particular scene which I fell in love with was when Wang Chia-Chih sang a song for Mr Yee, and he started tearing, Oh.. so touching...

天涯呀海角
觅呀觅知音
小妹妹唱歌郎奏琴
郎呀咱们俩是一条心
--
哎呀哎哎呀郎呀
咱们俩是一条心
----
家山呀北望
泪呀泪沾襟
小妹妹想郎直到今
郎呀患难之交恩爱深
--
哎呀哎哎呀郎呀
患难之交恩爱深
----
人生呀谁不
系呀系青春
小妹妹似线郎似针
郎呀穿在一起不离分
--
哎呀哎哎呀郎呀
穿在一起不离分

Feeling Happy!!!

There are many days that come and go without we barely noticing it. A day when something magical happens is a treasure. A day when we get something we want is something we really enjoy and remember. Even though it seems like events cause us to feel the way we feel, the truth is we can choose how we feel.

How we feel inside and how our day turns out can be changed. We can practice choosing not to respond to things that would upset us. We can choose to be calm, and from being calm, we can more easily choose to move into feeling good again. We can choose to feel happy because it makes us feel good. This takes practice at first, but once you get the hang of it, you will feel great even if you only choose to feel better some of the time.

Do not let other people rule over our emotions and feelings and days unless we let them. Let it go and focus on how we want to feel. By feeling good, we can choose our day and life and how we want to do about it.

Make every day a beautiful day. It is our life and we can choose how to live it. Feeling the joy of a special day feels so wonderful. Of course, today is a happy day for me, cos I choose to make it beautiful. Thank you for making my day!!!

A sister's love

I do not have a sister of my own, but I am blessed with dear friends, my dajie, erjie and sanjie, who has been my "blood sisters" for the last 25 years. And of course, my cousins, whom we have grown up together, and played together since young. Family and commitments deter us from spending more time with each other, but you are always in my mind. Thank you, my sisters.

A sister is someone who leads you when you have a problem
A sister makes you laugh and cry.
A sister is someone who likes to fight with you.
A sister is the one who stands with you in all your ups and downs.
A sister makes you remember who you really are.
A sister can bring you a smile when you need it most.
A sister sometimes makes you cry when they are very sad.
A sister is someone who is always here for you
A sister is there for you through all the laughter and tears.
A sister is real.
A sister never will pretend.
A sister is someone like you whom I treasure everyday in my heart.

爱人还是被爱??

有人说, 爱人比较幸福, 又有人说, 被爱比较幸福. 在爱与被爱之间, 你选择哪一样? 我觉得被爱的感觉会比较幸福, 会有多一个人为你但心，关心你。爱，能带给一个人快乐与温暖，这不就是幸福的感觉吗？你呢? 你会选择了爱人还是被爱?? 如果有人跟你说了以下的话, 你会被感动吗?

我小心翼翼的接近
怕你在梦中惊醒
我只是想轻轻的吻吻你你别担心
我知道想要和你在一起并不容易
我们来自不同的天和地
你总是感觉和我一起是漫无边际阴冷的恐惧
我真的好爱你我愿意改变自己
我愿意为你背负一身羊皮
只求你让我靠近
让我爱你相偎相依
我确定我就是那一只披着羊皮的狼
而你是我的猎物是我嘴里的羔羊
我抛却同伴独自流浪
就是不愿别人把你分享
我确定这一辈子都会在你身旁
带着火热的心随你到任何地方
你让我痴让我狂
爱你的嚎叫还在山谷回荡
我确定你就是我心中如花的羔羊
使一个男人无法表露脆弱的感情
我有多爱你,就有多少柔情
我相信这柔情定能感动天地

The recent “lump in the breast” scare had been torturing. My mind kept on wandering away in the negative ways. I cried myself to sleep at nights, thinking of many “what ifs”? The gals are top of my worry list.

I cannot begin to express my relief when the doctor told me it should not be a big worry at this moment. I only need to go back in 3 months’ time to review again. Phew! I cannot imagine how I would have coped if I had been given the results I dreaded.

From this experience, I hope I will learn to be more positive in my thinking. Hope, not expect, for the best. And remember to keep your fingers crossed.

What is happiness?

At some time or another, some of us cried for the happiness we could not have, yearned for the bliss we saw in others, sought for great and little joys in our life, and clung on to every last ounce of happiness, every single happy memory we could get. But often, life is a bland and cruel journey.

Some of us live a down-to-earth life and say that we have to seek the little joys in everything, whereas some of us try to seek the greater joys, aiming for great wealth, some are learning to love something and seeking happiness in love.

And in the end, some of us are unhappy, some of us are contented, some of us say that there is nothing to it for this is what life is, and some of us think we're happy.

What sort of life is the best life to live? What sort of happiness is the best happiness to have? Nobody is able to give us the answers, and nobody will have the correct answers. Some answers might be what we want to hear, some answers are meaningless.

As Someone told me before 快乐是“知足常乐”。好好珍惜你现在所拥有的，你就是幸福的。你能说得清谁更幸福吗？真心对待生活，用心感受生活，幸福总停留在你我的身边。细心捕捉幸福的影子，小心收藏好点滴的幸福时刻，尽情享受属于你的幸福生活。幸福快乐是要我们自己去寻找的.

Mammogram results.....

Between 5 and 10 percent of mammogram results are abnormal and require more testing (more mammograms, fine needle aspiration, ultrasound, or biopsy), and most of the follow-up tests confirm that no cancer was present.

I hope I will be the 5-10%. I just got the call from my doctor that the results from my first-ever mammogram and ultrasound shown “something not very good”. Actually, I have start to feel suspicious on Wednesday, when the ultrasound technician started to do some markings and print-outs. Now my suspicious is confirmed, and I have make appointment to see a breast doctor on Monday.

Me as the worrisome type, it is no wonder now my head is full of “what ifs”, and I am trying not to show my worry or panic, anxiety or fear. I need to calm myself, and wait to see what the doctor will tell me on Monday. I try not to jump to any conclusions now! I just need to keep my fingers crossed and pray hard that everything will be alright…

November 1st!!!

Today is the November 1st, first day of another new month. Time really flies by, and it is another 54 days to X'mas, and another 60 days to the last day of the year. Just hoping that the next 2 months will pass with happiness, and every step ahead is a step toward achieving something better than my present situation.

The Ace of Chalices card suggests that my power today lies in capturing the essence. My emotions are valid. I am beautiful and I deserve to pursue, share, and express unconditional love, pleasure, and happiness. I bring new love into the world. I am empowered by love and my gift is beauty in truth.

Personality Test!

Try this personality test to know yourself better... True or not, only you yourself will know the answer. http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Key To My Heart!!!

I had closed the door to my heart
And would not let anyone in,
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
But that would never happen again

I had locked the door and tossed the key
As hard and as far as I could,
Love would never enter me again,
As my heart was closed for good

Then you came into my life
And made me change my mind,
Just when I thought that tiny key
Was impossible to find

That is when you held out your hand
And proved to me I was wrong,
Inside your palm was the key to my heart
To the rainbow I am waiting for

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort. You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

My Horoscope for today!

Here is my horoscope
for Thursday, October 25:

You're inspired with a new kind of energy and may decide that your life needs a new direction. It might not be too far from where you're headed now, but it should feel more meaningful to you.

I Turn To You!!!

When I'm lost in the rain
In your eyes I know
I'll find the light
To light my way
When I'm scared
Losing ground
When my world is going crazy
You can turn it all around
And when I'm down
You're there pushing me to the top
You're always there
Giving me all you've got

For a shield from the storm
For a friend
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you

When I lose the will to win
I just reach for you
And I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me

And when I need a friend
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
Taking me through the night

For the arms to be my shelter
Through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For that one who I can run to
I turn to you

Is there anyone for me?

Monday Blues are biting at me again... workload is piling up, unsolved issues still remain unsolved, family problems still hanging, mind is still not in the correct state... Upfront need to be strong, but still feeling lost and down... I don't like what I am feeling now...

I was there when others needed someone to listen to their stories,
Someone to share their secrets and someone to make them happy..
Is there anyone for me..?

I could understand the other’s pain and how they feel when they are down
Though I couldn’t do loads of things I always shared their sorrows..
Does anyone understand how I suffer alone when I’m feeling bad..?

I have spent hours and days to solve other’s problems,
to wipe away their tears and simply to make their lives better..
Is there anyone to see my tears..?

I did everything I could do for others and sometimes I get hurt,
I’ve cried so many times for them
Have anyone dropped even a single tear for me . . .?

Happy 21st Birthday Jie!!!

My beautiful daughter is 21 years old today. It seems just like only yesterday when I gave birth to a sweet baby girl on 19^th October 1986, who I named Felicia, which means “happiness”. I want my baby to be happy and gracious, and now my little girl has grown to be a lovely woman.

Jie, I want you to know that I will always cherish the wonderful time and the joy of watching you grow into a beautiful young lady. I treasure each loving moment we share, chatting or gossiping, shopping or going to the movies, our mother-daughter friendship. And most of all, I want you know that you are my best friend. I will always be proud to announce to the world “This is my lovely daughter”.

The last couple of weeks have been busy for us, looking for the party venue, arranging the menu, deciding of the birthday cakes and gifts, shopping for what-to-wear, booking for hair-do, etc. and tonight will be the big night. Everything will turns out well for you tonight, just relax and enjoy it, baby!

I hope you can achieve all your dreams, and have a wonderful life ahead. Whatever challenges you will face, I want you to know that I will always be here for you, always… I love you!!!

天黑黑欲落雨!!!

Last night while chatting with ka-chng,she told me this song is very apt for both of us... which I think is very true...

我的小时候
吵闹任性时侯
我的外婆
总会唱歌哄我
夏天的午后
老老的歌安慰我
那首歌好象这样唱的
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

离开小时候
有了自己的生活
新鲜的歌
新鲜的念头
任性和冲动
无法控制的时候
我忘记
还有这样的歌
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独
天黑的时候
我又想起那首歌
突然期待
下起安静的雨
原来外婆的道理早就唱给我听
下起雨也要勇敢前进….
我相信一切都会平息
我现在好想回家去
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

Depression!!!

The worst thing about depression is the constant numbness. Even if you are surrounded by a whole crowd of people, you still feel completely alone. Your thoughts get muddled, you cannot string a sentence together, and the exhaustion is so tiring, it almost knock you out. All you want to do is to escape everyone, close your eyes and forget about everything - but you cannot. The worst thing is trying to explain what you are going through, because the truth is you don't think anyone else will ever understand. In your head, no one has ever had to go through anything as bad as this before.

Depression is not a mood to be in. When you are feeling down, you just want to "close" yourself up alone. And when you are around with people, you still need to pretend nothing is wrong, everything is perfect and normal for you. Sighed...

During these lousy times, when you feel like tipping over the edge, just knowing someone is around to put his arms around you, or even with a simple phone call, really helps. Someone who is able to pick up the tiniest thing you do, who are able to understand you with your one simple remark or a slight mood shift, makes a difference. He is the rock you need...

Romantic or Realistic???

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle. You know that love isn't like a greeting card... Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings. You are the best of both worlds Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious. Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

寂寞很OK, 一个人OK, 习惯就OK !!

生命之中有多少经历
还值得细细回忆
尤其是感情那些刻骨铭心的回忆
好多年都不曾忘记
我们都在寻找真爱
花钱也不能买
但是你问我什么是爱
它没有正确答案
只能凭感觉
在人海里寻找所谓的爱
有人随便玩玩
有人拼了老命在玩
有人一辈子没有伴
过著东奔西跑的日子
来到不熟悉的城市特别容易孤寂
想著挥之不去的问题
尤其面对自己总是没有头绪
感情和个人的平衡点常常失去重心
放手上风一吹就会掉下去
有时却想放弃
摇摇欲坠其实最自私是自己

我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很OK
顶多如有时候早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK

走一步算一步
寻寻觅觅当你遇到一个喜欢的人
却不想在一起
也许只想一夜情而已
放了真感情却害怕自由会失去
这世界上只有两种人
男人和女人
每天上演同样的剧情
谁又爱上谁谁又背叛谁谁又伤了谁
乐此不疲的表演好累
但是没有人能够脱离再翻离
谁可以跨越出去
结果因人而异
有的信守终生有的继续等
有的干脆剃度
永远不再过问
这红尘滚滚心中是否沸腾
还有多少时间值得继续等
曲终人散走在陌生的街上
剩我一个人唱

我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很 OK
顶多如有时候早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK

爱情面貌我是不了解
却把自己搞的很狼狈
有一段时间我不OK
把灵魂混在黑暗里面
当然还是有一些小小的都不在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK

Thinking of You!!!

Thinking of you .. not when I am sad..
Thinking of you.. not when I am alone...
thinking of you.. not when I am angry....
I think of you when I am happy,
Cos I would always want to see you that way!
I think of you when I am excited,
Cos that reminds me of the times I was with you!!

Trying to think of you..
But cant find a reason to do that..
Cos thinking of you can never be with just a single reason,
Trying to think of you all the time,
Cos that's the only thing that still brings happiness in life!

Thinking of you..
Thinking of you.. all the time!

你是我心内的一首歌!

你是我心内的一首歌
心间开启花一朵
你是我生命的一首歌
想念汇成一条河
点在我心内的一首歌
不要只是个过客
在我生命留下一首歌
不论结局会如何

好想问你
对我到底有没有动心
沉默太久
只会让我不小心犯错

点在我心内的一首歌
不要只是个过客
在我生命留下一首歌
不论结局会如何

Letter to My Gals

My Dearest Princesses

I know both of you were angry with what Mei saw last Monday, but babies, we have already chosen this path of road, so no point holding this grudge against him. Since he is showing that he is able to lead his own life without the 3 of us, the more we must be strong and positive to let him know that without him, we are able to lead our lives as well, if not, even better when he was around.

It has been so long since we have managed to live without him, and the most important thing now is 3 of us are happy and we are family. We should be strong for each other, love each other and encourage each other when the other feels down. By sticking together in times of need, we will be able to overcome any problems along the way.

There are definitely going to be things we like happening around us, but life also has their unpleasant moments. It is how we appreciate and be thankful of the beautiful things around us, and the way we let go of the unpleasant issues, makes us decide whether we are happy most of the time or become angry and grumpy, complaining about how life is unfair most of the time.

The key in being happy is knowing how and when to let go, if it is painful or unpleasant to hold on to, the rightful thing to do so is to let go and you will be at peace with that person or more importantly, at peace with yourself. Once you are able to do that, you will feel better for sure, you will also be feeling like a free bird with nothing to weigh you down from your own journey in life.

Please do not let what happened to him and me affect your mood, your studies and your life ahead. No matter what the future holds for us, remember I will always be here for you and loving you...

Mom

We are like Pencils...

In the beginning the Pencil Maker spoke to the pencil saying :-
"There are 5 things you need to know before I send you out into the world. Always remember them & you will become the best pencil you can be."

1. You will be able to do many things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone's hand.
2. You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but this is required if you want to become a better pencil.
3. you have the ability to correct any mistakes you might make.
4. The most important part of you will always be what's inside.
5. No matter what the condition, you must always leave a clear, legible mark, no matter how difficult the situation.

Now, replacing the pencil with yourself; always remember these rules never forget them. In this way, you will become the person you want to be.

1. You will be able to do many things, but only if you allow yourself in someone's hand, and allow others to access you for the many gifts you possess.
2. You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you will need it to become a stronger person.
3. You will be able to correct mistakes you might make and grow through them.
4. The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.
5. On every surface you walk, you must leave a mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to move ahead.

See, other than trying to be as thin as a pencil, we can learn to be like a pencil itself.

Cause & Effect

Some simple words of knowledge from Someone to adapt to our daily life.

Knowledge that people close to us are independent and able to take care of themselves is a big load off our minds. Therefore it is a good to start early to cultivate positive habits especially the ability to take care of oneself. Those few words are very short but encompass every aspect of our lives, at work, at home and even in school.

At work it means being able to do your part properly, ability to resolve whatever issues pertaining to work and also the basics like punctuality and attendance.

At home there are also many things to take care of like cleaning the house, ensuring that daily necessities like groceries are stocked and laundry ironed plus many more.

Independent in school means punctuality and attendance, delivering school work on time and understanding what is being taught.

Your loved ones will be at peace when they know that regardless of the obligations you have, whether at work, home or school, that you can “take care” of yourselves. With this knowledge they can better focus on their own obligations knowing that you can manage what you are supposed to do in your own areas.

If you really think about it, this perception tells you that in all relationships whether family, friends, classmates or colleagues, we affect each other either directly or indirectly whether we are consciously doing it or not. Therefore the best approach is letting your loved ones know that you are capable and responsible in what you do, to do this, assurances comes by way of actions, words and results.

Everyone has a role to play and due to the bond we have as family, friends and colleagues we affect each other. In order not to have an avalanche effect all must do their parts and live with the consequences of our actions and what we say or do.

Good Dietary Habits!

Everyone needs energy to face the day’s challenges, no matter how urgent or how busy you are you still need energy to tackle the challenges ahead whether with regards to work, studies or even house work. Therefore it is wise to first fill your stomach which means a good breakfast before you start the day whether at work, school or at home. Without regular and timely meals one can only look forward to a lethargic day, it can also lead to gastric pains.

Someone's personal motto is “ no amount of money is worth the pains that comes with unhealthy eating habits / schedule “. A regular meal time and balanced diet will ensure one’s overall well being but there’s no need to overkill up to the stage such as monitoring the calories you consume. For starters you just need to ensure that your dietary intake consists of vegetables, meat, fruits and also sufficient amount of liquids.

Healthy meats will be lean meat or poultry complimented by greens and fruits like pineapple, papaya and watermelon. The older one gets the less efficient our digestive system therefore these simple choices / eating habits will ensure we stay healthy.

Hey Ka-chng, from today onwards, we better keep good dietary habits, if not, will get reprimanded again!!!

Ups & Downs!!!

In life, we are bound to face obstacles. The cruel thing about life experiences are not all things will go smoothly all the time, there are times when lousy feelings will inevitable come into our life. There will be instances where we will find ourselves in a downhill ride.

The difference is that only when we are able to go through a downhill ride, then we will only able to enjoy the uphill journey. We will be more appreciative and enjoy the uphill ride more because mentally and spiritually we have become stronger and in the right mindset to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

In short, we must try to grow stronger over time, growing more confident and independent as time goes by. We must know how to manage both good and bad feelings, and it’s not good if you only know how to enjoy good things but do not know how to handle bad things. We must learn how to solve/tackle bad situations, and to come out strong and standing.

My gals, I know you will grow stronger with each and every setback or unpleasant situation you go through. I know you will grow into intelligent, diligent and beautiful ladies.

My Birthday!!!

Time is really flying fast, and I am one year older now. That day I was telling my gals, when you are in you 20s and 30s, you will find that time passed very fast, as these are the times you start dating, get married, have children and getting busy with their up-growing and preparing them to step into the world. When you are in your 40s, the pace gets slow, and everyday is similar, no great excitment or changes. Life is getting abit boring sometimes, but I know I will use my time wisely and make full use of it. The celebration and presents are great. Thanks to all of you.

My Soulmate??

Once upon a time we wondered if we were ever going to meet our own soulmate. We ask if the one we are with right now is the one truly meant for us. There are just too many stories about people finding the one? Their match? Their twin soul? That at times it almost feels too magical to believe, yet we keep on believing. Love, indeed, moves in mysterious ways. If you want to know if its possible, it is. You can find your soulmate.

Soulmates are believed to be our love match? The other twin of our soul. If you have episodes of yearning and longing, thats because you haven't met yet the special someone who can fill up your loneliness. If you got fears, he definitely has ways to subside them. He can put an end to your uncertainty; He spells happiness. Soulmates rather complement us than complete us.

The first sign in discerning if HE is the one is when your heart and mind tell you that HE is so. You will know it even if you don't know how. Thats the joy that soulmates bring to everyone.

Knowing each of us has a matched soul is a beautiful thing to think of. The universe is so huge that the journey in finding our soulmates seems like a blanket of overwhelming adventure. The thought seems mysterious but tugs inspiringly at the heartstrings. It makes us want to wake up each day with that burning desire that we might just stumble to them. The scenario can get really delightful, what with a not so perfect world that we have, finding your soulmate in the most strange times is perhaps the most beautiful thing that can happen to any individual.

I love this song by Natasha Bedingfield....

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

My Love Profile!

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low. This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.. It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life. In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

Women's Terminology! Watch Out!

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’s true. Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE (See No 1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about NOTHING. (Refer back to No 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you; do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F---U!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself . This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.

Reflections

Sometimes I wonder if I have been feeling grateful for all the things I have in my life all along, and making me not protesting enough for my freedom and opportunities. Well, at least for now, I should say I have been doing quite the opposite for this past year.

Sad to say, I have not given much thoughts about the divorce since, maybe he has not been in our lives for too long, and so have not missed him that much. Only today, when the lawyer called to say he will be attending court (but I did not need to be present) that makes me think briefly of the past, and my courage to end the misery. But the next round of court appearance, my attendance will be required. Oh, I hate the need to face him again.

I used to hear that couples still remain as friends after break-ups. But for our case, not even a call or sms from him to see how we are getting along, how the girls are doing? He is like a total stranger to us, and as it he has vanished into the thin air. I should have known all along that we weren’t going to be friends after the break-up, as we do not much basis in our marriage to start with.

I never thought that I will be single again. It is a little hard for me to believe that I am actually happy to be single, and grateful for that. Now I have my freedom, maybe I should look for my opportunities. Maybe I should look for a someone who can make me happier, someone to talk to when feeling down?

Maybe I should look for My Secret Pirate...

Let's Have a Laugh!

Chinese Name confusion!!

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital..
Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree .
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry .. Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree .
Caller: Oh.....God

Cold Or Hot Drink For You?

In life, we will always have ups and downs. But as all these situations are beyond our control, whether we like it or not, we still need to go through these down days. Someone gave me some advice on how to face these taxing times, and I am trying to apply it into my everyday life.

There are times you need to make things work, and not stopping in your tracks and feeling miserable. It is similar to making drinks for yourself, or waiting for someone to make drinks for you. It will be a bonus if there is someone around to make drinks for you in times of need, but that someone might not always be around for you.

Therefore the next best thing to do is condition yourself to be strong and independent. Think positive and do positive things to get yourself out of a lousy situation. If the weather is too hot, make yourself a iced cold drink to cool yourself. If you are feeling cold, make yourself a hot drink.

You need to learn how to tackle your challenges, and you will overcome it. It is just like the stone, break in up gradually so that it will becomes more manageable, and will you slowly be able to move it away.

P.S. My dear girls, I'll always try to be around to make drinks for you, to help you to solve your problems, but if I'm not by your side, you need to learn how to make it yourself, ok? Mommy loves You!!!

Am I Really Ready?

You are Ready to Date Again

If you're not out there already, you should be. Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship. Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage. Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him. Now, on to a better guy :-) It's time for you to start dating! Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites. Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights.

Are You Ready for a New Boyfriend?

How To Be Happy?

When I was feeling low...I started to having doubts about myself…My self-confidence diminished, nothing seems to be correct and I was in continuous battle with myself. I had never felt this way and I hated everything around me. I try to forget the feelings I had, but they just will not go away. I had an ache in my heart and the misery will not go away too.

But now I have started to learn new ways to look at things, Someone has told me... "the more you expect, chances of you feeling disappointed is higher ", which means if you do not have any or little expectations, whatever good things come your way, no matter how small it is, it will be appreciated and treasured. We also must learn to accept the bad times, and wait for the sun to shine again. Of cos there will be times when we will be sad, lonely or depressed, but the most important thing is to get back on our feet really fast and deal with everything with a smile on our face.

So all I can say is good luck to myself and hope I can finally find a way to be happy.

Emotional Fulfillment???

The Ten of Chalices card suggests that my power today lies in completion. I celebrate and am grateful for captured moments of simple perfection. Satisfying my hearts desire connects me by example to love, beauty, pleasure, and happiness in those around me and gives me confidence to take it to the next level. "We made it." Unconditional love makes a family and home is where the heart is, so at last, I am never alone. I am empowered by gratitude and my gift is emotional fulfillment.

My Love Will Get You Home...

Recently my gals are watching the new HK Serials, 溏心風暴, and inside there is this song which I have fallen in love with. I am adding it here, so that you can enjoy the song, and it will make your day a more wonderful one.

http://albums.stmc.edu.hk/albums/Personal%20Albums/farfar/kitten/mylove.mp3

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

Words of encouragement from Someone, Be strong and you will find your rainbow...

The weather changes everyday in our life, and our life will also changes like the weather. Rainy days in our life is inevitable, but there will also be rainbow after the rain. As we weather each storm in life, we just need to remember the lessons and move on after growing stronger. Do not stop in the rain without moving forward and remain wet and cold. There's always some place to shelter from the rain and start a fire to stay warm. We need to take the initiative to overcome our challenges in life and not stop moving ahead.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Time & Tide Waits for No Man...

Someone has sent me the below message, and so I am adding it here, to remind myself, my gals and my dear cousins when the feelings is low and feeling down...

"Time and Tide waits for No Man " a good saying to understand, to have if you know how to apply it correctly. What does it tell you at first glance? Time is unforgiving and never stops moving forward, it tells us that we must treasure it whilst it lasts when something good happens. When something bad happens, how do we need to respond? Simple, let it go and automatically you will be distanced from the negative vibes (energy). This is what in Chinese means "放下".

The roller coaster of life is always present whether we like it or not, one second whilst in the midst of enjoying a nice feeling, something or someone might just appear from nowhere and spoils the moment. If you confront that person or hold on to the bad feeling, you are actually prolonging your own feeling of misery. What does this tell you? To “ let go “ of that feeling or that person will make space for better feelings or others to come into the picture.

One must be in the right mindset and ever ready to face whatever challenge that comes your way. If your morale is low and negative you won’t be able to appreciate anything advantageous that might come your way. In that sense you are not able to feel or accept the good things that are actually coming your way.

Be positive and strong, you need the strength to overcome whatever challenges that might come your way. If something bad comes along, you will be strong enough to overcome it and when something good comes your way that’s another source of energy for you to recharge and move ahead.

P.S. It is always easier to say than doing it... But when we are stuck somewhere, maybe the above will help to push us along... and we will end up smiling...