The worst thing about depression is the constant numbness. Even if you are surrounded by a whole crowd of people, you still feel completely alone. Your thoughts get muddled, you cannot string a sentence together, and the exhaustion is so tiring, it almost knock you out. All you want to do is to escape everyone, close your eyes and forget about everything - but you cannot. The worst thing is trying to explain what you are going through, because the truth is you don't think anyone else will ever understand. In your head, no one has ever had to go through anything as bad as this before.
Depression is not a mood to be in. When you are feeling down, you just want to "close" yourself up alone. And when you are around with people, you still need to pretend nothing is wrong, everything is perfect and normal for you. Sighed...
During these lousy times, when you feel like tipping over the edge, just knowing someone is around to put his arms around you, or even with a simple phone call, really helps. Someone who is able to pick up the tiniest thing you do, who are able to understand you with your one simple remark or a slight mood shift, makes a difference. He is the rock you need...
2 comments:
Meiren, I just had the time to log into our homepage, log into your blog, read some of your messages. It's good you have a place to leave your thoughts. I like the one about our dinner. Ya it's sad we can't meet as often nowadays. Hai my job has taken up all my time. What to do? After the divorce, I need to feed myself, the kids (partially).... I need every $$ I can earn. But like you said, no matter what, our jie mei spirit will never die....
You must take care of yourself....
san-jie
Hi San Jie
Thanks for leaving me a comment. At least he is still helping you to look after the kids, mine is totally on my own...
You take care too, don't overwork.
xiaomei
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