Time flies...

Time Flies, now is already mid December. Another 2 weeks will be another new year, another new start…

How did the last 350 days passed by? Everyday is work, sleep and work again. Weekends spent with my princesses eating, shopping, or just lazing at home watch tv… is this considered busy? Or just trying to avoid the reality?

一直等一个人等了很久
这一场独角戏是很寂寞
春夏秋冬我的窗口只有风经过

爱很深有多深我也不懂
你走后我的心变得脆弱
听一首歌也觉得痛
但我谁也没有说

右边的座位右边的枕头
都已经空了那么久
为你守候那是因为我已经看透
没有你的爱这个我只是一半

不哭了不笑了
为谁努力我也不明白
没有人能取代一个圆的另一半
我固执的等待等风再把你带回来

不在乎天長地久，只在乎曾經擁有...

Happened to chance of this classic video, it was so beautifully made ...


不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有... As time passed by, you will realise many things are not within our control, and everything is so fragile. Do you really don mind 只在乎曾经拥有吗？ Why would you want to go into something, and at some point you need to let it go? Does people realise that we can never have 天长地久, and when the time comes to let go, it will be very miserable...

One day, when someone left you or something happened, you will really realise the what it really means, 不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。。。and the heart really hurts. So we should treasure today, as you will not know what will happen tomorrow.. Treasure today as tomorrow will never be like today...

Missed you ...

A Miracle...

The way things are happening, I do need a miracle. I keep on praying on that one day that things will finally fall into place. I keep on thinking about when, what and how that it would happen. I will think of the good times, and hope eveyrthing would come together again.

Oh, good Lord, please let there be another miracle in my life. Please let it be.

I don't know how I will react, and I hope I will be happy when that the day comes. Having a missing part in life is not what I need now, and I hope everything is worth the wait.

I need to pray hard, and hoping you will pray hard for me too... whoever and wherever you are.

Ups and Downs...

Life has many ups and downs. There are always challenges along the road but doing our best in everything we do can make a big difference. Success is sweet but we cannot avoid failing. We can learn from our mistakes and do better next time. If we try our best in each endeavor, success is not far behind.

Easier said than done... isn't it what we are trying to do everyday? But nearly half a century gone, did not even smell any success... Work, Love, Money... Sigh...

每日为爱为情心袂定
这个冷冷暖暖的世间
甘有永永远远的美梦
是阮爱着无情人
真心痴情梦醒一场空
这个恩恩怨怨的世间
爱是起起落落的希望
情深缘薄谁甘愿谁甘愿

Sometimes…

I feel I’m ready to let go
I feel I’m moving on
I believe I can be better off without you
I think I’m strong enough to go through life
I feel I’m a better person after all

But occasionally…

I still have flashbacks of sweet and sour memories
I still naively hoping you are here
I still wishing everything stay the same
I still wondering why you were doing this
I still pondering how my life will be from now

Perhaps…

I am not good enough
Our destiny not meant for each other
You are just someone who happens to cross my path
And to leave some smile
And some memories in my life

Money Money Money...

Was alone at home last night... and while waiting for dinner to be ready, I started to watch MaMa Mia on TV (have not finished the show yet)... It was quite an interesting show, and I can relate myself to the mother... and the songs inside...it's like singing about me... Haha... I like this one...

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball...

A man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind
Ain't it sad
And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me
That's too bad
So I must leave, I'll have to go
To Las Vegas or Monaco
And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same...

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world

PS - The sad thing is I have been to Las Vegas, and here I am, still as poor as before, Sigh...

回到最初 。。。

I'm not going to lie… I've never felt lonelier in my life than now… I feel so lost, alone and depressed… even though I put on a brave and happy face everyday. On some sucky days, I hope to have someone I can grumble at, to vent at, and a shoulder to lean on.
I don’t have a lot of close friends, only my dear sisters… but our meet-ups now are getting lesser and lesser… Of course, there are my two dear gals… but one day, they will also leave me to lead a life of their own.
This is not the life I have ever imagine I will lead one day… this is not the life I need to the rest of my time…

最近都流行粉紫色
最新最潮的都有了
为甚麽富有了甚麽都不缺了
简单的快乐会不见呢

为生活盲目的跑着
为爱情又被伤害了
当所有变复杂变难懂变苦涩
看自己变复杂变自私以后
你流的泪水是不是真的
简单的快乐怎麽不见了

能不能回到最初
最自然最灿烂的笑容
没有钻石的爱情我也会被感动
让自己放空恢复漂亮的脸孔
你吻我一下脸就红

就回到最初最晴朗最开阔的天空
回到最初最晴朗最开阔的天空
搬走摩天楼别挡住彩虹
我崇拜的英雄和最爱的卡通
全都出现在今夜的美梦
全都出现在我今夜的美梦

能不能回到最初
棉花糖在手中的笑容
钻石换不了爱情的心动
让自己放轻松什麽都能想通
说爱你爱我脸就红
回到最初再也梦不到的梦

Fear of Getting Old...

Something fearful has started to haunt me since my birthday… Fear of getting old… Suddenly this has become one of my biggest fears now. I know every person will face this eventually, and this is reality. Every day we will slowly progress towards growing old and there are many things which remind us about this fact like greying of hairs, wrinkles etc. Getting old is part of our life and it is final destination of every human being, before death.

The gals have been complaining that I can’t hear when they speak to me… My speech and my brain do not connect sometimes… My skin is getting drier and wrinkly, with age spots starting to pop out… I get tired more easily now… and all the problems with age is coming at me now…

Never had I had this feeling before, and it doesn’t help that one of my favourite part of reading the newspapers is the Obituaries section… How do I get rid of this fear? Help...

A Little Wish...

A little wish is all I ask
Love and happiness surely doen't seem like a hard task
For like a flower who is full of beauty
Will surely wilt and wither without anyone on duty
To love and to watch over, to water and prune
For I would love to grow and have time to bloom
So I'm not asking much, just a little time and care
For my happiness and love to show, I would like my share
A little wish is all I ask, please send it to me soon
I do not wish to wilt and wither, I want my time to bloom

Saying Goodbye...

Saying Goodbye…

Is letting go of the known,

And reaching into the unknown.

Is taking a step into a new place,

And hearing a door slightly close.

Saying Goodbye…

Is closing the box,

And tying the ribbon.

Is storing inside all that is precious,

And lock it in your heart.

Goodbye…

We didn’t even say Goodbye…

Knowing it is inevitable, but the heart is still aching…

Time to start blogging again...

I think it is time for me to start blogging again... I know I used to devote some of my time to this blog, and I really do miss it. But recently, work (and a little holidays) has taken away most of my time and energy...

This little space of mine used to be my little place to release my thoughts, the ups and downs of my life... Now, I think I need to start blogging after this long break... But nothing much has changed since my last blog... my own life at least... Well of course, people around me has changed... things around has changed too...

This Friday, we will be attending Jie's graduation... the day I am waiting for for 22 years... and Mei is doing her 1st year studies now (at last)...

For me, it's still the same... lonely and sometimes a little despair and dishearten...

PS. I Love You...

Last night was watching this DVD with Mei, but watching it the 2nd time round, was using up as much tissue papers as the first, if not more. The 2nd round made me understand the storyline more... it's not about waiting for Gerry's letters to come... it's more about the 2 men in Holly's life, her dad and her late husband... one chose to leave them, abadoned the family when he have a choice... one left her without any choice, being taken away from her.

Is it men are all like that? They do not treasure what they have on hand? Honestly, behind a corner of my mind, I am still wondering what is he doing now? who is he with now? Why should I be bothered? He chose to leave, without any contact, not even with a call or sms... it's just like Holly's dad in the show...

What is more hurting? Knowing that he chose to leave you, and you still might have a chance to meet again, and he chose not to; Or knowing that he left without any choice, and you will never have a chance to meet again?

There's one part her Mum said to her... "I'm alone!…If you're all alone, we're all together with you in that, too." Yes, I am alone, but is there anyone with me too?

Popcorn - All Sweet!!!

Went to Marina Square with Mei today, had lunch at a new Myanmar eatery, food is weird, but price is good... both of us only ate less than $15, and the lunch came with 2 lime juices, 2 soup, 2 main course and 2 deserts... good deal, right?

Then went to catch "Confessions of a Shopaholic" movie... It is light and bubbly comedy, hilarious and funny... not a bad way to spend 2 hours laughing away...

I am not a shopaholic myself, but I fully understand how one feels when you are shopping, and found something you really loves to bring home, but your wallet does not allow you to bring home everything you like. So Gals, when you are shopping, always need to ask yourself.. " Do I need this? Am I buying for the sake of buying only?"

The thing I don like about today is not the food or the movie... it's the popcorn... usually when buying popcorn, need to say "Half Sweet Half Salty"... but today we only need to say "All Sweet"... I miss the Salty half... the person who only eats the salty half...

Rushed home straight after the movie, so that I still can catch up with her before she goes to bed... I am missing the salty half alot... especially this is the first weekend without her... Take care, baby... I miss you!!!

Take Care... Baby!!!

Wow.. I did not realised how long I have not been writing anything here... I am so busy with work and work and work... that leaves so little time for myself and the gals... Especially time with the gals are so precious to me now...

Whether we are window shopping, looking for good food, or even just nuaing at home on the sofa, the time with them are my most happy times... Although we will have some bickering here and there, but that is the fun we are having, and enjoying each other's company and love... at least I hope the gals are enjoying the time with me...

But from today onwards, for the next 3 months or so... one of my baby will not be with me... she is all alone is a foreign land, learning to be independent and standing for herself... This is the first time she is away from me for so long (3 days I would say it's a long time already, and now it's 3 months).

I know it is a good learning experience for her (the envy of her friends), but to be separated from her for so long, it will be like 3 years to me... I have to control my tears and emotions, as I want her to fly off in a happy mood... but inside of me... my heart aches alot...

Soon she will be arriving in a new country... a new home for her for the next few months... I just hope she will have some good room-mates and make some new and wonderful friends... Now just waiting for her to call me in 5 hours' time...

I miss you alot.. baby... take good care of yourself... MISSED YOU!!!